Who stole your joy of life ?
Once upon a time you were ahead of everybody in living full of the joy of life and trust with an enormous potential of creativity. You were that new one on the earth who was discovering every single thing with curiosity, asking endless questions about anything. You were even trying to eat ants, amazed by the taste of cotton candy and the mystery of love, … Do you remember what was the meaning of a successful life for you at that very time ?
However, over the years you slowed down somewhat. You started to lose yourself in the race to build a successful career, to pay bills on time, to the administrative papers, to overtake a car in the traffic jam where you were stuck, …
You lost yourself in each labyrinth as you go through because there was only one aim : to collect highest point in the fastest time possible in order to have a successful life.
Time has flown by and a lot has happened ! You started to think about your ” ideal successful life “. You ended up feeling failed but it was difficult to accept it. That curious kid became a blase adult who started to play the victim of circumstances because playing the victim is more easy and comfortable instead of facing reality.
I know what you’re thinking; ” Circumstances ! What about the war ? Physical handicaps ? The inflation ? What can I do for ? ” Well, I can tell you that you actually are confusing two different phenomenas. It is therefore essential to distinguish between differences in “uncontrolled circumstances” such as extreme weather events, war, … and “personal circumstances” that you experience in life. Indeed, the question is not the type of the circumstances here. It is how you respond to it. Moreover, the majority of outcomes is actually your respond to an earlier event.
How it works ?
The formula is simple ! EVENT + RESPONSE = OUTCOME.
That’s all !
You can blame the circumstances or events such as the war, the inflation, your parents, your job, the crooked democracy system, gender bias, and so on. Of course all these factors do exist and they may affect your personal circumstance. However, they are not determinative. Don’t you agree with me ? Well, I am asking you now to think about following questions: Why do some people succeed and you don’t ? Why do some people have that ” succesful life ” and you don’t ?
If the components of your answer include “I can’t do it because of …”
I can tell you that you play the role of victim in life and you love to find a scapegoat AND YOU DON’T TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOURSELF. It is not the circumstances that stop you- IT IS YOU !
Let me illustrate the formula above with an example :
EVENT : There is an economic crisis and you lost your job. -An external event affects your personal circumstance.-
RESPONSE : You ended up accepting a low wage job to survive. -Who find that job and who accepted it ? It is you. –
OUTCOME : However, you don’t like that job and salary is not enough to live better. -Result of your response.-
So what are you going to about ? Are you going to blame the economic crisis and playing the victim ? or Are you going to transform the outcome of the first event to an event and respond it positively ?
EVENT : You have a low paid job and you are not with doing it. -The OUTCOME of your previous RESPONSE.-
RESPONSE : You are seeking a new job but can’t find any vacancies matching your profile or your salary expectation. So, you decided to looking for some alternatives such as gaining new skills to change your career OR creating your own enterprise OR you come up with a plan or an idea to have a professional promotion in your current company OR you run your passion as a side job, and so on. – Your POSITIVE RESPONSE.-
OUTCOME : You have new skills to do something else and you change your career OR you run your own business OR you got a promotion in your current company OR you figure out how to turn your passion into a job, and so on. – The next EVENT of your future RESPONSE.-
You can chose whether to respond positively to any event or not there will be an outcome that you have to acknowledge. So I encourage you to take the responsibility for your life. DO NOT GET STUCK in the CONDITIONED RESPONSES ! It doesn’t matter your origin black or asian,… It doesn’t matter your IQ level 190 or 85, … You have your own willpower, instincts, desires, skills, creativity and you are responsible for your life. Only you can bring back the joy of life and make smile again that little kid. You can have that successful life !
Next week, I am going to tell you how to start and stay focused while you change your responses.
Meanwhile, I encourage you to think about “What you want to change in your life ? ” in order to create a successful life.
And please feel free to leave a comment and subscribe.
“Sérénité” from “Landing” by Art Yenta.