Tips for Dealing with Bossy People
Have you ever felt fear or anxiety when starting a conversation with a person about anything ? A person who makes you feel offended by remarks, which touche on your professional performance, your personal style or your attitude ?
If so, you are facing with a bossy person and let me tell you that this kind of person, if you do not get rid of early, can lead to provoke in your mind many different phobias, burn out even a severe depression.
This person may be your co-worker, friend, spouse, neighbor or one of your family members. It doesn’t matter what role that person plays in your life, it is time to stop being dominated by him or her ! So how do you deal with this kind of people ?
First things first, let’s analyse the situation here ! Once you get the point you will develop your strategy to handle the situation.
Question : Where is your bossy ?
Bossy people in your workplace
Your coworker may make your work life unpleasant and even difficult by insisting on taking the reins of everything you’re responsible for it. You obey that person without question because :
You think that you have less experience than that person : Hey wake up ! No one can know everything in the beginning of their career or a new project. You gain experience while you work. You may fail, messed up. So what ? If someone gives you that responsibility that means that he or she trusts your capacity. Never underestimate what you are capable of ! Don’t think “ I am not good enough.” Indeed, it is an excellent opportunity to develop your professional skills. If you really do not know what to do then ask for help or collaboration. At some point your efforts will pay off.
You afraid of not being appreciated : Whatever your job may be, feeling appreciated at work is important for your well-being. I totally understand. However, a bossy person – even if there is no ill intention – will never appreciate you. Because a bossy person needs to satisfy the hunger of his or her ego. Whatever you do she or he will always control your behaviours and ignore your opinions and feelings. Instead of focusing on his or her appreciation you should focus on gaining the respect by showing that you are an individual and intelligent enough to do your job.
You fear about workplace gossip : Sometimes, it seems as if people have nothing better to do than gossip about each other. Personally I really hate this ! However, it is unavoidable. If people gossip about you and your relationship with that bossy person, you should just ignore and never ever be part of the rumors. A gossip person is as dangerous as a bossy person. Once again, gain the respect of others not their appreciation.
Bossy people in your personal life
Up to a point in your professional life I understand your fears to become face to face with a bossy person. However, it is little difficult to me to understand why you tolerate the bossy person in your personal life. They have power over you because :
You want their approval and acceptance : If your self-esteem is low you may look for to get affirmation and acceptance from your bossy friend, parent, spouse … The problem with approval seeking is that it leaves you vulnerable to being manipulated by others. In fact, you may influence other people’s perception, but you can’t control it. Indeed, people will think what they want to think. When it comes to a bossy person the situation doesn’t change. Moreover, that person will get extreme pleasure to dominate you. You need to develop your own individuality and enjoy with it. Put your time and energy to learn how to be relax without knowing what other people think of you.
You don’t have enough confidence in your own decision making abilities : Decision making skill is something that you can learn and improve. You have “instinct” and rely on it in decision-making. No matter what type of decision you have to make, you can take it with confidence. Moreover, you know yourself better than anyone – especially better than a bossy person who never makes an effort to know you -. Once again, bossy people only impose their will and intent upon you.
You want to avoid conflict : You are afraid to get into conflict because you think that people will get angry at you, you will end up alone or it will always end up being your fault … However, avoiding conflict does not make the conflict go away. Indeed, it will push you to lie, be angry, to be weak and escape from the reality. In fact, it is quite normal that you think differently. A bossy person would never listen you. However, you have to stand up and express your thoughts. Your fear of conflict will gradually disappear while you tell what you think. The bossy person who is in your life will finally see that actually he or she can not dominate you anymore.
Did you analyse your situation and find the reason why you accept being dominated by a bossy person ? If so, develop your strategy to handle the situation.
Tips for Dealing with Bossy People
Stop living in fear of a bossy person. He or she is only an ordinary person. Imagine what she or he does on toilet ? Nothing different than you. So a bossy person does not have super power 😉 Basically what those people do is only using an emotional pressure on you. Now you know that ” secret power”. Here’s the key to be relax : When whenever you feel under pressure imagine that person in a public toilet. Most importantly listen your inner guidance not your fears.
Speak up for yourself, when someone is trying to boss around with you. Put your freedom above everything else. Let them know that you will not stand such behavior. express yourself calmly and refuse to start a fight. Staying calm and elegant is really important. When you act huffy, you may place yourself in a childlike role. Most importantly you give an alibi to that bossy person to accuse you that you are an aggressive person. Moreover, never forget that you are not responsible for the choices or behavior of others but you are responsible for yours.
Be presentable at all time. Unfortunately less good-looking people are generally more exposed to the pressure of bossy people. Why ? Because they think that you are already a loser and inferior than themselves. Your appearance represents you in anywhere. Think simple, what kind of message sends your appearance to external world. Just pay more attention to details. You will gain more confidence and overcome insecurity with time.
When you don’t want to accept something that you don’t feel right, just say NO. On the other hand do it as respectfully as possible. However, do not apologize for your refusal.
Now, you know the rules ! Go and join the game ! It’s your turn to make your life better !
“Running Waters” from YouTube Audio Library by Audionautix.